


I Swear

by LionessRinoaVIII



Series: SMAA Collection [7]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Romance, F/M, First Kiss, Forced Pregnancy, Headmaster Squall Leonhart, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Original Character(s), POV First Person, POV Original Character, Parent Rinoa Heartilly, Parent Squall Leonhart, Post-Canon, Post-Timberian Liberation, President Rinoa Heartilly, Slow Romance, Timber - Freeform, Timber Garden, Tragic Romance, seed - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24557962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LionessRinoaVIII/pseuds/LionessRinoaVIII
Summary: Squall and Rinoa's young daughter, Julia, has experienced a traumatic sexual assault at the hands of Raijin and Xu's son. Squall and Rinoa are struggling to get home to their baby girl, and a certain young SeeD isn't about to let the love of his life suffer alone...especially not now that he's just found out she is pregnant with her abusers child.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: SMAA Collection [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765453





	I Swear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xadrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xadrea/gifts).



I was blind with rage as I drove in the crushing silence of the night toward the house Julia shared with her parents and siblings. Squall and Rinoa were fighting to get home as quick as they were able, but they were out of the country in Balamb away on business. The smaller children were staying at their Uncle Zell’s, but I would be damned if I left Julia home alone after the voicemail she’d just left on my phone.

Pregnant. Where the hell did Soichiro Yoshioka get off leaving his victim with an eternal reminder of what he’d done to her? I wanted to drive my car into oncoming traffic as I wiped the hot tears rolling down my face on my shirtsleeve. Of all the people in the world this could have happened to, Julia Leonhart did not deserve it. My Julia. It had been several weeks now since it happened, and I hadn’t wanted to leave her side for a moment. Headmaster Leonhart insisted she needed rest, and I respected that, but the only woman I had ever loved was not going to suffer alone as long as there was breath still in my lungs. Why the hell had she taken the test by herself? I’d have been over sooner in a heartbeat.

I parked in the lonely driveway and sat for a moment, collecting my thoughts. I didn’t want to be a mess when I knocked on the door. Julie needed me to be strong for her. My eyes bore holes into the powder blue shutters that framed the white house. President Leonhart always kept it so spotless. There were still sweet little animal decals on Julia’s window, from when it had been her nursery, a relic from an easier, more innocent time. I frowned. Julia was so soft. I didn’t want any part of this cruel world to harden that beautiful heart.  _ Pull yourself together.  _ I thought angrily, taking a few deep breaths as I slid numbly from my car.

I knocked softly, not wishing to scare her as I held my breath and waited. I knew it was all going to be over when I saw her face. I couldn’t hold my  composure; it was already slipping from my grasp. Julia had gotten a lot closer to me in the weeks since the rape, I thought, though I didn’t want to seem over eager to be near her. She was clinging to me in a way that I had always wanted, but I couldn’t allow myself to accept that affection. She was hurting and vulnerable, and it wasn’t right. She needed to want to be with me when her heart was whole. Even still, my heart leapt into my throat as she pulled the door back to greet me.

Julia’s eyes were bloodshot from crying, and she struggled to smile at me, though her eyes told that she was relieved—happy even, to see me. She shot into my arms, and I didn’t think twice about coiling them around her protectively as I walked us a little  further into the foyer so I could shut and lock the door. I was paranoid. Soichiro still hadn’t been found, much to Squall’s chagrin and horror, and there was no telling if and when he would attempt to pay his ex-girlfriend a visit. “ Juli -B,” I whispered softly. “Do you want to sit down? Can I get you some water?"

Juli-B was something I had picked up on from years of working and studying under the Headmaster. President Leonhart said it apparently was short for Juli-Bean, as a play on jellybean. Squall had thought Julia looked like a kidney bean on her first ultrasound. It was hard for me to imagine the Headmaster in such a soft light, but I knew he was good to his family. There was a love there that I was intensely envious of. Squall and Rinoa Leonhart had the kind of family we all yearned for at Garden. Julia chuckled through her tears at the use of the nickname, and my heart skipped several beats as I felt her nuzzle my chest. “Just hold me please.”

I didn’t need to be asked twice, and I placed a small kiss to the top of her head. “Yes, ma’am.”

A small irritated sigh passed her lips, and I briefly wondered if I had done or said something wrong as she pulled away from me. Her face was swollen from the sobs that were still peeling out of her, and she ebbed them from her cheeks as best she could with the sleeve of her pink nightshirt. “On second thought, I could use that water.” Her voice sounded a thousand miles away and I instantly regretted the small peck. That had to have crossed a line. I gazed at her a beat too long, my chest seizing with agony at the pain that was radiating off her. If I got my hands on Soichiro Yoshioka before her father did, he was a dead man. I nodded numbly, tearing my gaze from her breakdown and ambling mechanically to the kitchen.

When I returned from running a small glass under the tap and collecting a few ice cubes from the freezer, Julia was pacing around her living room. Her hands were glued to her midsection, and her small feet could have burned holes in the burgundy carpet at the speed she was skating across it. “I h-have your water, if that’s okay.”

_ If that’s okay. Yevon, Tatsuki, calm down.  _ The look she shot me was bitter and I was afraid she was still angry about the kiss, if that was even the issue. What if she hadn’t called me here for comfort? What if she was mad at me? My stomach flipped, and I fought back a gag at the idea that I had somehow done something that put even more unnecessary strain on her life. “Please don’t look so sick, Tatsuki, you’re making me nervous. Put the water on the table please.”

I did as she asked, placing the glass on the white cherrywood coffee table that sat in the center of their living space. I watched as she pulled anxiously at the drawstrings on her pajama bottoms, and she glanced at the floor like she didn’t know what to say. “I need you to be honest with me about something.” She finally said, her voice terse and uncomfortable.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “Anything.”

“Are you in love with me?”

That was the furthest from what I was expecting, and my chest felt like it was going to explode. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? You’re my entire center of gravity, the reason I’m a SeeD, I’ve wanted to marry you since we were fifteen years old? I couldn’t breathe a word of any of that. My words were dry and painful in my throat, and I could feel my eyes welling as I chose a spot on the wall behind her to stare at. This was it. Our friendship was over, I had crossed an emotional boundary. She was never going to forgive me. “Y-Yes. I am very much in love with you.”

I didn’t even hear myself as I spoke, and my shoulders shook with a harsh weep that I was willing with all my being to keep inside. I didn’t want her to see me like this. After all the time Headmaster Leonhart had wasted on me I was still weak. I was beneath her. When I finally dared to look her in her eyes I regretted it, blanching at the rage I saw buried in her lovely orbs. “Why? Why couldn’t you just tell me, Tatsuki? Do you…do you realize how long I’ve been waiting for you?”

Wait…what? She was…waiting for…me? That didn’t even make since. She had been dating Soichiro for the better part of two years. I didn’t know how to respond, I was panicking, but luckily for me she wasn’t finished. “You are…amazing. You’re gentle and you’re kind and you’re handsome, and any idiot with half a brain could see that you’re sweet on me, even though I don’t deserve you, and you could have literally anyone at Garden that you wanted.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to silence me. “All I wanted was some sort of gesture o-or confirmation, but it never happened. I wanted you to fight for me the way my dad fought for my mom, I wanted you to come after me. But you’re so shy…and so respectful…and I knew it wasn’t going to just happen. So I started dating Soichiro in the hopes that you’d…I dunno…I guess chase me. It was vain and it was st-stupid and I’m so sorry…”

Julia took in a sharp breath and attempted to compose herself, but I could see her whole heart shattering across her face. Her hands were still planted firmly on her stomach, petting at the fetus as if she were showing. “But you never did…so I thought maybe you didn’t want me the way that I thought you did, and I tried to move on with Soichiro. He…had some emotional issues, and I wanted to help him, I really did. A-And then he…he…” A tight sob croaked from her chest and she buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t say the awful words out loud, and frankly I was glad. I couldn’t stand to hear them. “And now I’m pregnant, and Tatsuki I c-can’t do it, I can’t have an abortion! I just c-can’t! We could never be together now...because I’m t-tainted.” She wept so hard she couldn’t catch her breath, and I had heard enough.

My emotions had completely  overwhelmed my senses, and the part of me that was too shy was out of  commission . I was careful not to grab her or touch her too quickly, terrified that I’d trigger her. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against her own, holding perfectly still and allowing her to process it. My heart was hammering into my chest and I was so sure she was about to clobber me, but the blow never came. Julia hesitated for only a moment before she wrapped her arms around my neck and opened her mouth to me. She flicked her tongue against my lips, and I let her explore, dying inside as I  suppressed years of longing and passion. I didn’t want to get too carried  away; I wanted the ball to be in her court. This was all on her own terms. 

My timid hands found their way to her hips and rested there as she wrestled my tongue for dominance. Her lips were softer than my imagination had ever given them credit for, and I was perfectly at ease and in heaven just kissing her. I could have kissed her forever and ever...but I had to reluctantly pull away. There were things that I had to say. She was not going to let herself feel like trash for something that was in no way her fault. I wouldn’t allow it. “Julia Raine, I love you.” I whispered. “That is not something that I say to you lightly. I am so fucking sorry that I didn’t pursue you harder—I didn’t want to frighten you away. This is all my fault. I should have protected  you; I knew there was something wrong with him I  _ knew  _ he didn’t treat you right--”

I had to a take a breath,  sobbing as I tore my eyes from her beautiful face. I  couldn't hold it in anymore. I reached caress her soft, round cheek, and I was pleasantly  surprised to feel her nuzzle against my touch. “There is nothing tainted about you. Your body is still a temple, still the sweet place that houses your soul. There is no shame in allowing that baby to grow there, if that’s what you want. It’s all yours, it has nothing to do with him. And goddamn  it Julie...I’ll...if you want it, I want it.” I promised solemnly, touching my forehead against her own as my fingertips lightly dusted her abdomen. 

Julie pulled away from my touch, and I almost regretted opening my mouth. I’d blown it somehow...but I’d been nothing but truthful. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks flushed red as she stared at me for a long, agonizing moment. “No, Tatsuki, it’s not your fault at all, that’s not how I meant any of this.” I wanted to kiss every ounce of guilt off her precious face. “But...you’re serious when  you say you would...you would still be with me pregnant? Or...with a child running around?”

“There is nothing you could ever do that would make me not want to be with you.” I admitted softly. “You’re everything to me. And this baby...if they’re going to be part of your life...I want to love them too.” I couldn’t look at her as I spoke, but my heart stuttered violently as I felt her hands tilt my chin up. 

“The only choice I should have ever made was you.” She whispered and her voice cracked as she shot into my arms without warning. I tangled my fingers in her hair, and squeezed her tightly against the beat of my heart. Finally. I had waited so many years to hear those words. This was it for me. She was my forever, and I was never going to let her go. If she wanted the kind of man that Squall Leonhart was to Sorceress  Rinoa , then that’s what she would get. I could be that for her. I wanted to. 

“I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. You’re safe with me.” 

Julie gripped me hard, and snuggled her tear-streaked face into my neck. “You promise?” 

I couldn’t help but smile, molding my lips against her own once more. It was chaste, and her lips tasted faintly of cherries. I wanted to live in that moment for the rest of my life. “With all that I am, I swear.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to Square Enix.


End file.
